Your Guide To Gaming

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There are always many available articles on the “Best Games of the Year” or the “Top Video Games of All Time“. I got to thinking, what about the worst? I did some searching and, sure enough, these lists exist as well. So, just for kicks, here are a few examples of the worst games ever created:

• “If It Moves, Shoot It” – This game seems self-explanatory. That’s because it is. I like games that require minimal instruction, but being able to tell the instruction? That’s taking things a little too far.
• “E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial” – This particular game is actually famous for how bad it is. In 1982, Atari rushed the programmer to produce 4 million copies of this game just so they would be released by Christmas. The result? Extremely poor graphics, terribly slow game-play, and an overall mess.
• “Super Columbine Massacre RPG” – This basically mocks the 1999 massacre at Columbine High School, need I say more?
• “Postal” – This is a shooter game in which you have to kill a certain number of armed non-player characters to move on. This includes killing innocent characters, such as members of a marching band. Even for a third-person shooter, that’s a bit morbid.
• “Ikari Warrior II: Victory Road” – Sometimes an intro is all it takes to make or break a game. This one makes starting the game a traumatic experience. When the text appears, each letter takes a full second to add itself to the screen. They even have the nerve to accompany each letter with an obnoxious beeping sound. Watch it here. I dare you to endure the whole thing, without skipping, and with the volume up.
• “Elf Bowling,” “Nuts & Milk,” and “Totally Rad” – I’m starting to think that some companies really need to hire additional staff just for the naming of their video games (possibly 100 more for the actual development of them). Any guesses to what type of game “Nuts & Milk” is? For “Totally Rad”, an ounce of credit should be awarded because the main characters are indeed 90s Californian surfers. But dude, that totally isn’t rad.

Have you seen worse? Share your experience in a comment.